Do not go Gentle
by Asha'man X
Summary: This is my first ever story. It focuses on Ashley after the destruction of the Normandy SR-1 and the loss of her love, Shepard. It also includes my version of what my Shep's funeral might have been like.
1. Chapter 1

Gunnery Chief Ashley Madeline Williams felt her heart racing with a pace she had not felt since helping Commander Shepard defeat Saren and Sovereign a month and a half ago during the battle for the Citadel. Then, like now, it was not a good feeling at all.

Strapped into her chair in the emergency escape pod, Ash looked around at the crew members with her. They were as shocked and frightened as her; even Dr. Chakwas looked suddenly frail and old. Ash imagined she looked much the same. There were no windows in the escape pod bar the small one in the hatch, and in fear of being attacked by the mysterious vessel that had destroyed the Normandy, radio silence was the standard order. Ash wanted nothing more than to radio out to Joker and Shepard in the last pod, to reassure herself that Shepard had done the right thing a few minutes ago. Ash knew in her head that he was right, but her feelings had clouded her vision in a way they never had before. Fear it seemed could undermine even the best training in the world, and combined with her feelings about Shepard, she had panicked instead of acting calmly. Ash was not proud of herself for that, but as the Commander had taught her, she let the matter go and moved on.

With nothing else to do but wait, Ash closed her eyes and let her mind drift over the last hour. Nothing seemed real; the horror hadn't had time to sink in yet. Ash knew the tears would come soon enough, but for now she bit her lip and let her mind drift.

Not an hour ago, the SSV Normandy SR-1 had dropped out of hyperspace to investigate another possible sighting of geth stragglers. As in the previous 3 weeks, there was nothing to be found. The intel had again proven to be useless. Everyone was starting to feel the frustration build at constantly finding nothing. After the battle at the Citadel, the crew had expected to be sent on more serious missions to investigate the Reaper threat, but here they were chasing phantom geth instead.

The appearance of the massive and strange alien ship changed all of that, forever. Without warning or provocation the ship opened fire on the Normandy. Despite all of her advanced technology and shields, the beam impacted the Normandy hard. Joker was doing his utmost to outmanoeuvre the alien ship, but no matter what he did the ship kept firing on them. The initial attack had taken out the tantalus drive core, as well as the FTL engines and long range communications. The Normandy was a sitting duck.

Ash had ran down from the command deck, where she had been helping the injured. She ran towards Shepard, who was preparing to launch a distress beacon. She had asked him if the Alliance would make it in time, and he had responded that they would. She informed him that Joker was still trying to save the ship, and that she was heading back to get him. Commander Craig Shepard looked at her and ordered her to get to the escape pods instead. Ash didn't want to leave him, but after a feeble objection and last look in his eyes, Ashley ran. She didn't want to part from him like this, but she hoped to apologise after they were all safely off of the ship. Along the way, Ash helped fallen crew members reach the pods. Just as she got into her pod, another blast had shaken the ship. With a last look around to make sure there was no one else to save, Ash closed the door and hit the button next to the door. She strapped herself in and let the pod do its automatic escape routine. She had to trust that Shepard would do the right thing.

Back in the present, Ash kept her eyes closed and said a prayer for those who hadn't made it out of the lower decks in time. Those people had died true heroes, and Ash hoped that their families could take comfort in that. At that moment, Ash wanted nothing more to hold Shepard again and whisper in his ear that she loved him. "This is Dr. Liara T'Soni. Can anyone hear me? Is anyone out there? Someone please respond!" Liara's panicked voice burst out over the comm. channel, startling everyone. Ash felt herself jerked back to reality and opened her eyes.

She reached up to key her mike when she heard check-ins from Garrus, Wrex and Tali. "This is Ashley, is everyone ok out there?" Ash asked. Everyone radioed back affirmative. Ash keyed her mike again "Ashley to Joker and Shepard, please come in. Ashley to Joker and Shepard, come in please!" There was no answer. Ashley's racing heart picked up the tempo even further, and a sudden cold and clammy sweat broke out all over her body. Silence was not good at all. "Please God, let him be alive," Ash repeated over and over in her mind.

Just as she was reaching to key her mike again, Joker's voice came over the link. From the very first note of his voice, Ashley's heart stopped racing and started to thump painfully instead. She had never heard this kind of tone in Joker's voice before, a mix of anger, horror and unbelievable pain. "Joker to everyone. I am alone in the pod, I repeat, I am alone in the pod. Commander Shepard didn't make…..it. Oh God, I saw him get spaced!" Joker's voice choked off into sobs at what had just happened, as he relayed that Shepard's suit had been damaged during the final blast, and that he was venting oxygen out of the suit. Somehow, Joker had seen this through the tiny window in the door, powerless to do anything.

Ashley could hear a scream coming from somewhere, she couldn't make out who it was from. Her mind simply could not accept it. Shepard had survived everything Saren and Sovereign had thrown at him and had come out stronger. Apart from the loss of Kaidan on Virmire, there had been far less damage than anyone thought could be possible under the circumstances. This attack was terrible but he would make it through. Surely Joker was living up to his name, even in this terrible moment?

Ash blinked and was surprised to find her vision blurred. She couldn't understand why her cheeks were wet either. Must be the heat in this pod she thought. The first hand on her arm was a surprise. Why was someone holding onto her? In the background, that awful screaming was still going on. Ash wished that whoever it was would stop it. Another hand took her other arm, grabbing tighter this time. Ash tried to shake it off but there were suddenly even more hands on her. Dimly, she heard Dr. Chakwas say something, but for some reason the words were not clear. Ash looked up to see Dr. Chakwas take the needle out of a small bottle and advance towards her. Why would she need an injection? She was fine! She felt a prick and a small pain as the injection was stabbed into her arm.

Ashley blinked twice, and her world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Tali sat on a chair overlooking the bed, watching Ashley slowly start to wake up. For a week now, Tali and the rest of the team had taken turns watching over Ashley. Poor Dr. Chakwas had been working around the clock and had almost no time to mourn, let alone think, but she had pushed on with a grim resolve. Ashley's temporary insanity was coming to an end, and she was more lucid with every passing day. Today was to be her last day of being sedated, if everything went well.

Tali sighed as she watched Ash. Her own grief regarding Shepard hadn't yet run its course, but she was ever so slowly coming to terms with it. Since the day she had met him, Tali had had a crush on the Commander. His kind ways, quick thought and compassion had surprised her. Prior to starting her Pilgrimage, Tali had not heard a lot of good things about humans. Shepard had not debunked those stories; he had torn them to shreds. He had formed an almost unbreakable team, including non humans like herself, Wrex and Garrus. Initially uneasy, all of them had come to respect and treasure the man. The human crew of the Normandy, perhaps following his lead, got to know them and begun to treasure them as well. Together, they had forged a team that had achieved what seemed the impossible.

Despite all the chaos, the Commander had taken time to get to know every person on his team. He had bonded with all of them, and considered each of them close friends. He had spent many hours talking to Tali when she was down in Engineering with Engineer Adams, getting to know her better. She had truly appreciated this gesture, and over time had told him just about everything about herself, the quarians and life on the Flotilla. After one of his missions, he had given her some data on the geth that would be very useful back on the Flotilla, and would prove her worth to all quarians. Because of this, his handsome looks and her own young age, she had developed a crush on him. If he knew, he never mentioned it, nor did he treat her any different. Despite her helmet's face visor obscuring everyone's view, Shepard always seemed to find her eyes when speaking to her. It was uncanny; it was something most humans couldn't do. Tali never breathed a word of her crush to anyone, lest they all laugh at her. There was no logic in the idea, yet it was there nonetheless. Tali was powerless to explain it.

Watching him and Ashley get close had given her an unexpected emotion: jealousy. It was sometimes tough to be around them, but Tali eventually learned to move past it. She only hoped that one day she could find somebody to share such a love with, to have such a strong bond that it seemed your very souls were connected. Tali sighed again and started to stretch when she noticed that Ashley was about to awaken for real. She stood up from her chair and moved around so that Ash would see her when she opened her eyes. Ash's eyes popped open, the brown orbs looking so full of confusion it made Tali want to cry. It fell to her to finally crush all of Ashley's dreams and hopes, and never had Tali felt so small and miserable.

"Hey Tali, it's good to see you" Ashley's voice was hoarse from all the screaming, and it was terribly weak compared to the voice Tali knew so well. Tali cleared her throat. "Hey Chief, good to see you awake again. How are you feeling?" "I feel weak and sore, but I should be on my feet again soon. Can't keep a marine down for long!" Tali smiled to see the ghost of a smile on Ashley's lips, it was something at least. "Tali, where is Shepard? I hope he wasn't seriously wounded. Is he nearby?" The way her face lit up when she mentioned his name wrenched Tali's heart all the more. Taking a deep breath, she took Ash's hand and held it. "Ashley, Craig died in the attack after saving Joker. He was spaced, and his suit was leaking oxygen. I am so so sorry, but he didn't make it" Tali's tears started down her face again, just saying the words had reopened the wounds.

Ashley's face twisted in pain, but she didn't start screaming again. Her grip on Tali's hand stayed steady. "This isn't the first time someone has told me is it?" "I'm afraid not Chief, we've all taken turns over the past week. Why do you ask?" "I've been having dreams where I heard people say the same thing, but I just thought it was bad dreams. I guess it was real after all" Tears started running down Ashley's cheeks again, but it was more natural this time.

"Thank you Tali for being here, it really means a lot to me." "My pleasure Chief, although as I said I wasn't the only one. We were all here for you. We all lost a great man that day" "Thank you Tali, and please send everyone around so that I can thank them as well. I suppose Dr. Chakwas will want to see me as well" "I'll be back in a few moments then Ash. Hang in there" With a wan smile, Ashley squeezed Tali's hand once and let go. Tali was no medical expert, but she thought that the worst was over now, and Ashley would slowly start the slow painful road to recovering from this terrible blow.

Ashley watched as Tali left the room. They were obviously on a starship, probably headed towards the Citadel if Ashley wasn't mistaken. Ashley let out a small sob, and the tears kept flowing, but she felt a little better than she had before. Tali's presence had been a comfort, an unexpected one. Craig had once said to her that Tali felt like a sister he never had. For Ash, with three sisters, she understood exactly what he meant, and she had now seen it herself. Thinking about it made her smile softly. He may have been gone, but she fully believed that he would always watch over her no matter what. Commander Craig Shepard struck her as the kind of man who would hold to such a promise, even in death. If he was with God as she hoped, more so than ever. Surely the God she believed in would grant him that small mercy for all that he had done?

Ashley decided to stop thinking about that for the moment and get out of bed. Tali had said she had been out for a week, and she felt that way. Although she had taken no wounds, she was terribly weak and drained. Sitting up took a lot of effort, but Ash pushed through the pain and managed to get there. Swinging the bed sheets back, she slowly lowered her legs over and placed her bare feet on the floor. The floor of the ship was cold under her feet, but she welcomed the feeling as a new sensation. She was just sitting there, catching her breath before trying something more useful when Dr. Chakwas walked in, with the rest of the team slightly behind her. Joker wasn't there, but with his difficulty walking, it was understandable. Then again perhaps he wasn't even on the ship anymore.

It was good to see them again, and she was cheered to see their small smiles. This team had become a second family to her. Ashley reminded herself that they had also lost someone. A leader, a friend, a brother, a commanding officer. In their own ways, Shepard's demise hurt them as much. Ash knew about this kind of pain, it had happened before with her dad, though not this badly. Ashley had loved Shepard as much as she had her dad, and some of the pain came from the fact that he was gone so soon after she discovered true love. For once, things in her personal life had been going well, and she finally had someone she loved and wanted. For once, she had let her dreams come out and had dared to hope for a better future.

Craig had treasured those dreams and had encouraged her to work towards them. He had chuckled and said she had better work extra hard, since he was now a big part of those dreams. With a dangerous glint in her eyes, Ash had looked at him and said "Is that so Skipper?" Still chuckling, he had said "Indeed it is Chief" If he saw the gleam in her eye, he paid it no attention. What did get his attention however was when Ash soundly kissed him out of the blue. He had returned the kiss with interest, until she broke it off. He had chuckled again and murmured that she was indeed a hell cat off and on the battlefield. Ash had blushed and felt slightly annoyed. He had noticed that gleam and read her like an open book! In the end, she had to chuckle as well. Even in something this small, he had shown how much he loved her.

"Williams, it is good to see you up, if not about yet" Garrus' slightly metallic voice said. Garrus and her got on very well together and had often been with the Commander on missions. "Thanks Garrus, it means a lot to me" Similar statements came from everyone, even taciturn old Wrex. Not normally one for showing much emotion, he made a dry comment about her hair that made everyone laugh a little. Small and quickly over, it was at least a start for everyone.

"Once again guys, thanks for being there for me. I know it can't have been easy, and I truly appreciate everything you have done for me. I can't tell you how proud I am to be part of this team. I know that I must look like a mess, hell, I am a mess, but I promise you that I will get better. I won't let the words and works of Craig go to nothing. I mean to see his memory honoured and treasured no matter what. What he did for the galaxy, us and for me is something that can never be repaid. I mean to do him proud"

With a "here here", the team all agreed and slowly left, each one taking a moment to squeeze her arm or whisper words to her. Everyone knew how much Ashley and the Commander meant to each other. Though against the regulations, their relationship had blossomed and it had captivated the crew. On this ship, everyone approved of it. The crew in particular had enormous fun teasing Shepard about it. Ash had seen and heard some of the things they did, and to see him stumble and blush was always funny. Not that she was spared any of the pranks and jibes herself. Well known as one of the sassiest and saucy marines around, she too was powerless to respond to them. It was always good for a laugh.

Dr. Chakwas didn't leave the room. She looked at Ashley, noting how pale and wan she seemed. Still, the fact that she was half out of bed was a good thing. "How are you doing Chief? No lies, I want the truth please" "I won't lie Doc, I am not fine at the moment. I will never fully be ok again, but I will learn to live with it and move forward. This is like when my dad died, though it's different." Dr. Chakwas looked at Ashley and was quietly impressed with her inner strength. Ashley had changed since she came aboard the Normandy. Through her relationship with Shepard, she had come to believe more in herself, be more confident and to express herself more eloquently. "A year ago, if I had never had met Craig, I would be beyond help now, but I'm not Doc. I just need time" "Tell me Ashley, have you ever read the words of the poet Dylan Thomas by any chance?"

Dylan Thomas? The name sounded familiar to Ash, who had read most of the works of the great Earth poets. She shook her head, she didn't believe she had read anything of his. "When you get the chance, look up some of his poems. I am not a big lover of poetry myself, but his works have always stuck in my head for some reason. He was from Wales, on Earth, and was quite well liked" "Thanks Doc, I will do so. It may take my mind off things" "First things first though Chief. Go take a shower and get some food from the mess hall. You need to get some solid hot food in you again. While you were out, we could only feed you liquids, and those are not very fulfilling" "Aye aye Doc," Ashley responded with a small smile. Everyone loved Dr. Chakwas for being so caring and motherly. It was a good trait in a doctor.


	3. Chapter 3

After Dr. Chakwas left, Ash got out of bed slowly. The Doc was right, a hot shower would do her wonders. She felt sticky and unclean. Since this wasn't a hospital, there had been no nursing staff to wash her while she slept, so it was something she really needed. Walking slowly to the nearby locker, she took out a towel and standard military issue toiletries. While nowhere near the things she had used on the Normandy, it was welcome nonetheless. Ash locked her room door and moved over to the shower cubicle. She decided to hazard a look in the mirror before she showered. It seemed that a ghost stared back. Her hair was out of its normal bun, in total disarray. Her eyes were bloodshot and there were bags under her eyes. Her makeup had been allowed to stay on far too long. One look at her teeth made her reach for the toothbrush and toothpaste before anything further. Simply doing such a simple task made her start to feel better. The sedatives she had been on were wearing off, which left her feeling more like her old self again.

Making sure the water was quite hot, Ash dropped off her gown and stepped into the shower. The hot water was a simple bliss, and Ash revelled in it, letting it sooth and warm her aching muscles. Eventually her practical side came back to her and she actually started to wash. The soap was harsh, the shampoo terrible and the conditioner nonexistent, but by the end of the shower, Ash felt as if she had washed part of her pain and her former life down the drain. Whatever happened, the old Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams was gone.

Ash gave herself a full body inspection after the shower. Everything seemed fine. Deciding to take the time, Ash shaved her legs and under her arms. The itching feeling under her armpits had been irritating her since she woke up, and look at her legs had her cringing. She felt much relieved after that little bit of womanly maintenance. She reached up almost automatically to do her hair into the bun, but being damp and not in a formal situation, she left it loose. There was no makeup in the bag, but Ash was happy to go without. It wasn't the first time and wouldn't be the last. Taking a deep breath, she looked into the mirror again. She looked a whole lot more human now she had to admit with a chuckle. She had once told Shepard that she liked the sensitive stuff as well, but chose to hide it more often than not. Same thing went for the small comforts woman derived from pampering.

Back in her room, Ash took out plain Alliance casual wear and donned it. The underwear was definitely not her style and felt rough and scratchy after the things she was used to, but it would do. She pulled out a pair of boots and socks, but decided to walk around barefoot a bit. "Probably against the regs, but what the hell" Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and walked out. As she did, it occurred to her that she didn't even know the name of this ship she was on.

Ash approached a nearby crew member and found out that the ship was called the SSV Tarsus, a frigate of older and larger style than the Normandy. The helpful crew man also directed her to the mess hall. The small flight of stairs left her head spinning, but not as badly as before. Her strength was coming back. Entering the mess hall, she heard quiet chatter from a few people there. There were nice smells coming from there as well even though it was standard military fare. Ash realised how hungry she actually was. Taking up a tray, she collected a large plate of food and a bottle of juice. As she looked for a place to sit, her eye caught someone in a baseball cap sitting by himself. Joker.

She sat down opposite him and put her tray down. He slowly looked up at her. His face was haunted, a look that she had seen on herself earlier, before the shower. Seeing her now only increased his anxiety, because he believed rightly or wrongly that due to him, Shepard was dead. He had been crying, his eyes were mute evidence to that. No doubt he was also expecting Ash to explode at him. "Hey Joker" "Hey Chief" The awkward silence after that caused Ashley to struggle to say what she wanted to, she just couldn't figure out a way to break the silence. Instead, she slowly started eating, enjoying the feeling of hot food in her system again, even if it was military food. "Ash, I am so, so sorry. My own stubborn belief…." Joker's voice broke off with a choke. He was struggling to control himself. Ash reached over and took his hand. "Joker, it's not your fault. More than you know, it wasn't your fault. It's not even the Council's fault for sending us out there. It is the fault of that damn alien ship and that ship alone."

"You are just saying that Chief, to try and make me feel better" "No Joker, I mean it. If it wasn't for you, we would have been dead after the first shot. Life right now is incredibly bitter, but it is also incredibly precious. Craig taught me that many times, and he showed it in his final actions by helping others before himself. I don't and can't blame you" Joker looked up, and for the first time since she sat down, Joker had a ghost of a smile on his lips "Uh Chief, could you perhaps use some of your fine arts on the gallery staff so that they can get us better food?" Ash could only smile at that comment. The food was healthy, but next to tasteless. They finished the meal in companionable silence. "Thanks Chief, you have no idea what this means to me" "You too Joker, we all owe you a debt as well" "I'll take a permanent rain check on that one Chief" Ashley let out a small giggle as she walked off.

Feeling sleepy but restless, Ash walked back to her room. Instead of sleeping, Ash sorted and packed through the few things she had been able to bring with her during the escape. There wasn't much, but luckily she had all the important mementos with her. With a deep breath, Ash opened one little brown box that she had purposefully left till last. Inside it was a white gold chain, with a Celtic cross on it. It had been a gift from Craig after he had spotted it on one of their missions and had bought it on the spur of the moment for her. She hadn't had a chance to wear it very often, but at least he had seen her wear it once. Of course, she had been wearing very little else at that point, so he couldn't have missed it. Ashley blushed at the thought, but then the sadness was back. She kissed the cross where he had done the same thing and fastened the chain around her neck. She vowed that as long as she lived, she would never take this off. One small part of Shepard would always be with her. He had bought her some other jewellery as well, things she hadn't ever had a chance to wear. Ash decided to keep them anyway, even if she never wore any of it. She could never throw away anything he gave her.

Not knowing what else to do with herself, Ashley decided to look up the poet Dr. Chakwas had mentioned, Dylan Thomas. Wrapping her legs under her, Ash sat at the terminal in her room and logged onto the extranet. There were no messages for her, which was a relief in its own way. She keyed in the search terms and waited. It didn't take long and the first hit was the best of the lot. It contained all of his works, as well as his life story. Deciding to read that first, Ash found herself feeling sympathy for the man. He had lived a long time ago on a very different Earth. Moving on, she read some of his poems. One poem stood out right away and gave her goose bumps and tears at the same time. The poem was appropriate for both her father and for Shepard. How someone who had live over two hundred and fifty years ago could express her very thoughts was downright scary. The poem had no formal name, but was usually called "Do not go Gentle"

_Do not go gentle into that good night,  
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_Though wise men at their end know dark is right,  
Because their words had forked no lightning they  
Do not go gentle into that good night._

_Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright  
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,  
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,  
Do not go gentle into that good night._

_Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight  
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_And you, my father, there on the sad height,  
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.  
Do not go gentle into that good night.  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

After that, Ash found more poems worth trying to remember. She bookmarked these, as she knew it was going to be worth reading when she had a chance. Surrendering at last to the call of sleep, Ash crept into bed. There were no pajamas in her locker, so she slept in her clothes as is. Closing her eyes, Ash said a prayer for Craig and the other crew members who hadn't made it. It just didn't feel enough though when it came to her love, so she added something else, a message for him alone. "Skipper, wherever you are, I want you to know that I love you. You rose me up, cared for me, taught me and helped me. I am just sorry we never had the chance to have more time together as a true couple is meant to have. There is so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to do with you. I miss you Skipper, my heart is empty. I can only pray that you are sitting somewhere in peace, having earned your rest. Watch over me Skipper, and don't ever forget me. Your love forever, Ashley"


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later, they arrived at the Citadel. Ash had spent time with each crew member, reminiscing and chatting. Sometimes they spoke of Shepard, sometimes other things. The subject of his funeral came up more and more, but Ash didn't know what to say. What happened with that was beyond her control. She wasn't looking forward to the inevitable huge public event, but nothing would have kept her away. The coffin would be empty, but it would be her chance to say a final goodbye. She had to keep reminding herself that as much as she shared with him, Shepard had also been shared with a lot of other people, some of them quite important.

Looking through the window in her room at the Citadel, Ash was saddened to see the place still look like a wreck. The battle of the Citadel had caused tremendous damage, and would no doubt take a long time to be repaired. Still, if there was any place in the galaxy that was capable of giving the Commander a glorious send off, the Citadel was it. Shepard was a space born kid and had spent most of his life in space. The Citadel was a fitting tribute to a son of the galaxy.

After being greeted by Captain "No, now Councillor Anderson," Ambassador Udina, Admiral Hackett and others, the team had been given lodgings on the Presidium. After a nights rest, they were all debriefed by both the Alliance and the Council. There was a lot of unhappiness that the Normandy had been destroyed, as it had been the most costly project the Alliance had ever undertaken. There was a worry about this unknown alien ship that had done this. Lastly, almost as an afterthought it seemed, Shepard's death had been mentioned. The entire crew of the Normandy had become very angry about that. While everyone understood that no one man was more than the Alliance or Council, the way they were treating his death was causing a lot of unhappy feelings. Three days after it started, the debriefings ended. The crew were informed that they would be told the outcome the next day. It was also announced that a funeral for Shepard would be held in a week and half's time. A huge number of dignitaries were expected to attend, as was Shepard's parents.

The main team of the Normandy got together after the debriefings and tried to plan what to do. It was unanimously agreed that Ashley would speak at his funeral on behalf of them all. It was also agreed that they would all go out to a bar afterwards and have some drinks to celebrate his life. Even Joker was going to be there, he said that nothing could stop him. They decided to go to a fairly small place that Shepard had mentioned that he liked and had been friends with the owner. This was really to be a private celebration amongst friends.

It seemed that things were just starting to get back on to the right track again when the bad news came. Both the Alliance and Council had decided to seal all the records concerning the Normandy and to disband the crew. The attack on the Citadel was to be blamed on Saren alone. Sovereign was declared a geth construct, and all mention of Reapers was carefully removed from all public records. The humans were being reassigned, while Shepard's team was to be allowed to go their own way. Official protests were lodged, favours called in, all to no avail. The choice had been made, and nothing could be done. Everyone had been forced to sign secrecy documents, or they would not be permitted to leave. This really upset everyone, but being powerless to do anything about it, everyone signed. Anderson tried his best to kill that move, but the Council and Alliance overruled him. He was just too new to the post and lacked enough clout to prevent the documents from going out. In the eyes of the crew though, he once again raised a notch. Next to Shepard, Anderson had to be the most loved person by that crew. They were after all part of his crew when the Normandy had taken its first flight.

Ashley's roommate on the Presidium turned out to be Tali, and Ash couldn't have been happier with the outcome. In the week and a half leading up to the funeral, Tali and Ash chatted a lot. Ash got to know Tali much better, and realised that while Tali was younger than her, she had matured a lot in the last year together with them. Tali was incredibly smart, but also had a naughty sense of humour that did a lot of good for Ashley. Tali loved hearing stories about Ash and her sisters, and actually told Ash that she would love to meet them one day. Ash really hoped that it would be possible, they would like Tali a lot. Especially some of those naughty stories, they could make even Sarah blush!

For all the light moments, the crew's mood started to get darker and more somber as the funeral approached. Most people on the Citadel had no idea of the sacrifice that Shepard had made and were now swallowing what the Council said blindly. Only through the words of Councillor Anderson was violence avoided. With a simple reminder, he told team mates that this was not what Shepard would have done. That sunk home, and while the threat of violence was reduced, renewed sadness and pain took its place. The crew's time together was coming to an end soon, and no one wanted to leave.

Without warning it seemed, the day arrived. The funeral of the late and great Commander Craig Shepard, N7 Marine, Star of Terra recipient and above all else, the first human SPECTRE. As much a media event as a funeral, it was the only thing that the Council seemed to do right in the eyes of the team.


	5. Chapter 5

Ashley felt her gut constrict yet again with pain and nervousness. She was to speak in front of an audience of potentially trillions of beings and she was afraid that something she said may not be carry over well into other languages. She wasn't good with speeches. On Eden Prime, she had given a small speech when James, a member of the 212 had been transferred. She didn't think anyone had listened. Ashley had chosen a simple knee length dress of the deepest black she could find on the Citadel, along with a simple black scrunchie to hold her hair back. A black blazer completed the outfit. In a rarity for her, she found a nice pair of open toe heels that would be comfortable and yet also fit the dress. In an obscure way, while showing the colours of mourning, she also wanted Shepard to enjoy the sight of her in a dress and heels. It wasn't something she did very often, but she wanted to do this for him.

No doubt he would be smiling that little special smile he gave her from wherever he was. She recalled once saying that he would never see her in a tin foil mini skirt and thigh high boots, something she now wished with all her heart she could do. She just couldn't do this in her official dress uniform, it just wouldn't work. If they censured her, so be it. She was attending this funeral as the love of Commander Shepard, not just as Alliance Marine Ashley Williams.

Ashley did her makeup and painted both her finger and toe nails a pail white/silver mix. It contrasted nicely with the dress without standing out too much either. She put the Celtic cross back around her neck, over the neck of her dress. Ashley heard Tali come into the room and turned to look at her quarian friend. Tali had managed to find black material suitable to replace her usual scarf around her helmet. Tali had learned of the custom of wearing black at funerals from Ashley, and had decided to wear it to show respect for the Commander. "Are you ready Ashley?" "As ready as I ever can be I guess Tali" "Do you know what you are going to say? Did you prepare a speech?" "I've tried to prepare something, but I think I am probably going to speak from my heart today. I did include two poems I want to recite though" "I am sure that will be appropriate Ashley, Shepard loved listening to you reciting poetry" "Thank you Tali, I know he did. I hope that wherever he is today, he will enjoy it one last time"

Tali looked at Ashley and her heart wept as much as her eyes. Ashley was being so brave, but the pain was still there. Having gotten to know Ashley, Tali could see the pain hidden deep, while Ashley tried to be strong. Tali didn't have the courage to try and approach the pain, only Shepard had ever been able to help Ashley past that sort of pain over her dad and gradfather. In that moment, Tali finally understood how much the love between them meant to Ashley and Shepard. It took her breath away with its magnificence, yet also its supreme pain and sacrifice. This was love in its most raw and true form.

Ashley stood up, did one last check, hooked Tali's arm in hers and walked out the apartment. She drew her grief around her like a shield, and people noticed it. They gave them a respectable berth as the two of them walked towards the nearest transport. The ride over to the funeral venue would be quick, or so Ash hoped. She wanted to be seated long before things got busy. She feared her lack of strength to face everyone today.

The funeral was being held in a massive auditorium on the Presidium. It was packed to the rafters with people who had come to pay their respects. Anyone and everyone was allowed to attend, in a show of respect for what Shepard had done. Today, all were equal before a giant of a man. The event was also being carried live on the extranet and all public terminals on the Citadel so that anyone could watch it. The usher at the door guided Tali and Ashley down to their seats in the front of the building. They would be sitting with the Council and Alliance Brass bigwigs today. When Ashley looked at the stage, her heart started bleeding again.

There was a simple brown wooden coffin on the stage, with a podium a few steps away. Atop the coffin was a simple wreath of flowers and a massive photograph of Shepard that Liara had taken a few months ago. She had taken photos of all the crew, alone and together and had gifted them to the relevant crew members concerned. This photo was taken right before one of Shepard and Ashley together, a photo Ashley would keep on her at all times for the rest of her life. "He looks so alive in that photo, I just don't know how he did it" murmured Tali. Ashley had to agree. Shepard looked as handsome as ever, while at the same time dangerous, intelligent, compassionate and brilliant. He was calm and happy, yet also with a lust for life that no one could deny. She liked to imagine that even Saren and Sovereign could not survive that look and had to turn away ashamed. Their crusades of death could not comprehend what Shepard stood for, and so they had been all the more determined to strike him down.

Then there were those green eyes of his, eyes that bored holes through enemies, held compassion for those weaker than him and often pleasure when he learned something new and interesting. For her alone, she would always remember the way those eyes looked at her, weighed her and made her feel very much like she was the perfect answer to the ultimate question. Those eyes that looked at her as the woman behind the soldier and found her desirable. The eyes that looked at her alone and proclaimed their love a million times over. The tears started down Ashley's cheeks seconds later, but she dabbed them up before it could ruin her makeup. The day was still long, and there was much more to come.

The only major difference between Ashley and Shepard was that he was an atheist while she was quite religious. As such, his funeral had no priest murmuring platitudes, no scripture and promises of eternal life. Words though they might be, Ashley wished that she could have heard them here and now. After some introductory speeches, Councillor Anderson had risen to say his piece. He kept it short but meaningful, and had people laughing with his stories of Shepard. The list of speakers continued, including Admiral Hackett and other people Ashley had never heard of. Common people from the missions that Shepard had done also came to speak, giving witness to the compassion and wisdom of the man. Many of these people owed their lives to Shepard, and they were not shy in admitting this.

Eventually it came down to her speech and the closing thanks by his mother, Hannah. Ashley was surprised to hear that his mom would do the speech and not his dad, but she had been told that Shepard's dad couldn't speak in public to save his life. She had wondered about that, because Craig had often given the most amazing speeches. Something had to come from his dad. She hoped to find out one day. Ash heard her name being called softly by an usher. It was time.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a very special person here today. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams will be speaking on behalf of the entire team that worked with Commander Shepard. Chief Williams has proven herself to be a brilliant soldier and has forever earned out grateful thanks. Ashley?" Feeling a bit flustered by Anderson's introduction, Ash stepped up to the podium. Words usually flowed so easily out of her, but today with all the cameras and recording devices pointed at her, combined with her lack of skill at making speeches, she froze up for a while. Just when it seemed she would never speak, the first words came out, slowly at first, haltingly, but gaining strength with each passing moment.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Members of the Alliance and Council, my fellow team and crew mates, Mr. and Mrs. Shepard. I have been asked to say a few words on behalf of our team, but I do not know if anything I can say will ever express how we feel. You have heard others speak here of what kind of man Craig, Commander Shepard was. I do not wish to repeat those wonderful words, but rather to add my own few poor words.

In the past on Earth, before we made First Contact, there were many legends and myths of our people. Many of those myths and legends were of people who were heroes. Some of those heroes became a hero by doing the right thing at the right time. Others worked at a simple task their whole life to help better humanity. Commander Shepard was one of these people, but he was of a different kind. He didn't seek out fame, fortune or glory. He simply believed in doing the right thing at the right time. The burdens places upon his shoulders became heavier and heavier with every passing day, yet never once did he falter or complain. He simply went about it in his own quiet reassuring way. He found the time to balance the smallest of missions with the most important ones. People are here alive today because of that.

When I spoke to him about the Skyllian Blitz, he told me that again, he was simply in the right place at the right time. He pulled off the first of many miracles that day, but when I said this to him, he told me that he was never alone. Without the people there who chose to believe in him, he said he would never have succeeded. Teamwork was the key he said, because you are never truly alone in this galaxy. He applied this same principle with our team during our missions. Never before have humans, asari, quarians, turians and krogans worked together like we did. Together, we did the impossible. Divided, we would never have survived. Before I knew him, I was wary of "aliens" as we called them, because they were not of our same species. Working with the Commander showed me just how wrong that view is. Just because we don't look the same, it doesn't mean that we don't have many things in common. Take Wrex over there for example. He will never win a beauty contest, but he is amongst the wisest warriors I have ever seen. He also has one of the best senses of humour you can imagine, but in order to see this, you need to get to know him. Craig did this and he was richly rewarded with not only advice from a wise warrior, but also friendship in the midst of the chaos. Tali, over there, is amongst the most brilliant engineering minds the universe has ever seen, let alone this galaxy. Yet if he didn't take the time to get to know her and instead treated her with the suspicion others do, we would have failed. Her upgrades and modifications to the Normandy saved our butts more times that I can remember.

The lowest point I had the pain of seeing on my journeys with the Commander was Virmire. We lost Kaidan Alenko there, another man who deserves full honour for the sacrifice he made. If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here. He paid the ultimate price, and we were all lessened by his absence. The loss of Kaidan tore Craig deeply, as Kaidan was like a brother to him. That day, we learned the truth of what the Commander believed about friendship and standing together, taken to the ultimate extreme. Rest in peace Kaidan, wherever you are.

My speech has gone on long enough, but I want to end off with a point and two poems by Dylan Thomas, a man I feel who has written words better than I ever could dare to dream, let alone speak. My point is that Craig showed us a better way of treating each other. Let us learn from his wisdom and never forget that together as a galaxy united, we can face anything. Commander Shepard was an atheist, but I believe in God. We had many interesting discussions about it, and we respected each other's views. I will say this. If there is a God out there like I believe, I pray every day that he has taken Craig to be by his side, to care for him and to reward with the rest he so richly deserves after serving as such a remarkable protector to this galaxy. If there is no God, then I hope that wherever he is, Craig is looking down on us content and at peace. My poems are as follows, the first one is called "And Death shall have no Dominion":

_And death shall have no dominion.  
Dead mean naked they shall be one  
With the man in the wind and the west moon;  
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,  
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;  
Though they go mad they shall be sane,  
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;  
Though lovers be lost love shall not;  
And death shall have no dominion._

_And death shall have no dominion.  
Under the windings of the sea  
They lying long shall not die windily;  
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,  
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;  
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,  
And the unicorn evils run them through;  
Split all ends up they shan't crack;  
And death shall have no dominion._

_And death shall have no dominion.  
No more may gulls cry at their ears  
Or waves break loud on the seashores;  
Where blew a flower may a flower no more  
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;  
Though they be mad and dead as nails,  
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;  
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,  
And death shall have no dominion._

The second is called "Do not go Gentle"

_Do not go gentle into that good night,  
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_Though wise men at their end know dark is right,  
Because their words had forked no lightning they  
Do not go gentle into that good night._

_Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright  
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,  
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,  
Do not go gentle into that good night._

_Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight  
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

_And you, my father, there on the sad height,  
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.  
Do not go gentle into that good night.  
Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

At the end of Do not go Gentle, Ashley slowly stepped down off the stage. A lot of people were weeping openly now. The raw power of the words seemed to touch the nerve of a lot of people. Ash silently thanked Dr. Chakwas for mentioning Dylan Thomas. While she had read a lot of poetry, nothing she knew could quite match the raw power or potency of these words. On her way back to her seat, Mrs. Shepard stopped and took hold of Ash's arm and leant in. "I'd like to talk to you after the funeral please; we have a lot to discuss. Can you stay here afterwards?" Ash mutely nodded that she could. She would do anything for Mrs. Shepard.

Hannah Shepard stood behind the podium and closed off the funeral with a her thank you speech. She added a few light hearted moments from her experience of being a mother, which brought sad smiles to many people. After her speech, she signalled to her husband to come onto stage with her. He made his way onto the stage and stood by her side for this closing part of the ceremony. It was something listed as "The Last Post" in the funeral program, a name which wasn't familiar to Ashley, or by the looks of many people around the auditorium, to them as well. Councillor Anderson asked everybody who could to rise as The Last Post was played. He explained that it was an Earth military ritual at the closing of funerals of soldiers who had died with honour. It had fallen out of use a while ago, but he said that Shepard had requested it in his last will and testament.

A lone marine walked onto the stage, near to the empty coffin. He was dressed in the archaic full dress uniform of the marines. Out of time, yet perfectly fitting the nature of the event. He carried a trumpet with him. As he raised the trumpet to his lips, the Citadel Council and a few Alliance leaders stepped up to the stage, carrying the flags of both the Council and the Alliance. As the first note started, the various members began folding the flags into triangles, but their actions were almost unseen as the crowd broke down into tears at the sound of the trumpet. The marine blew out a simple tune, but it seemed to carry the weight and burden of every soldier ever known, the pain, suffering and woe of war, the duty and honour of defending those who cannot defend themselves and above all, the dignity that one solitary person could bring to an entire people. The sound was at once simple yet incredibly haunting.

The Council and Alliance were still folding up the flags; they were almost complete when the trumpeter began the tune again. As the sound of that lonely haunting wail began again, Ash finally broke down utterly and did not see the flags presented to the Shepards, the salutes from the marine pall bearers nor the final exodus of the empty coffin. Her composure had dissolved at the sound of The Last Post, but this time it was not the raw ravaging grief of before, but the quiet agonising acceptance of loss and knowing that it can never be different. Her sobs were quieter than before, but they were far more intense. All the pain, all the grief, all the misery she had ever known came pouring out.

At some point, a pair of arms encircled her, what seemed like the arms of a mother. This was something Ashley needed, and without thought she leaned into it and cried more. A hand was stroking her hair, calming her. Eventually, Ashley got her crying under control and blinked her eyes. The mysterious person holding her turned out to be none other than Mrs. Hannah Shepard. She was resplendent in her dress uniform, but in that moment she was not a high ranking Alliance soldier, she was a mother; a mother who had just comforted the woman who could have been her daughter in law.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mrs. Shepard, I'm so sorry for that" Ash said in an embarrassed tone. Hannah looked at her with calm tender eyes and told her not to be silly. Grief needed to be let out, and in comforting Ash, Hannah said that she had let some of her own out. Craig's dad stood nearby, trying vainly to maintain male dignity, but not succeeding very well. Her poems and The Last Post had cracked his self control, but he didn't appear to mind.

Hannah looked down at Ashley while she blew her nose and made herself look human again. She instantly saw what had drawn her son to this beautiful young lady, why he was so excited in his messages to her about this Ashley. She was everything he had said: smart, beautiful, strong, witty and sensitive. Once again, Hannah cursed the fates for taking Craig away, but she also thanked them for at least letting her get to meet Ashley. They both needed each other now.

Ashley looked up at Mrs. Shepard "Would you like to join myself and the team for a few drinks? We planned to celebrate Craig's life in our own private way. We would be honoured if you could join us" Hannah smiled and said that she was hoping Ash would say that, or she and James would have invited the team to drinks. Ashley gathered then that Craig's father's name was James, though he had never mentioned it before. A lot like the son himself, it seemed most people just called him Shepard. In his case, Shepard Senior.

Ashley stood and waved over to the team, who had been waiting for her. They came over and each introduced themselves to the Commander's parents. Garrus lead the way to the bar for the drinks, where the owner had been waiting. As everyone sat down, he announced that for today, all drinks were free in memory of the Commander. The other patrons in the bar looked over at him and asked; why would he do such a thing? The owner said it was simple: the Commander had once helped him out with a problem and had refused payment. Not only that, he had spent an evening at the bar getting to know the owner. With tears in his eyes, the owner pointed at a framed napkin that was mounted above the bar counter. When he had asked Shepard for an autograph, there had been no paper. Shepard wanted to sign the wall, but the owner was too aghast at the idea that Shepard would favour his small bar that much. He had given Shepard a napkin instead, and he counted it as one of his most valuable possessions. The two of them had become friends, and Shepard would stop by every time he was on the Citadel.

Everyone cheered the owner, who blushed and got down to serving drinks. James Shepard stood up not long afterwards and asked that someone on the team tell him the funniest thing his son had done. It wasn't long before the stories were rolling out from Garrus and Wrex, Shepard's favourite henchmen in his pranks on the ship. Liara ended up blushing a lot, since the three of them had often targeted her for the pranks. Liara and Tali had their revenge though by revealing a story they had all sworn would stay secret, which caused Wrex and Garrus to choke on their drinks. Tali rather sweetly asked if they needed any help, to which both replied that no, the drink was just stronger than usual. Liara grinned so wickedly that everyone burst out laughing again.

Joker chipped in with some of the one cheesy one liners he and Shepard exchanged, and Dr. Chakwas spoke about the nonsense Jenkins, Kaidan and Shepard had once gotten up to. In the end it was decided that there was one winner: the whole team. After that, other stories were told, things that often made Hannah's eyes widen a bit. Just when Ash felt safe, Joker brought her relationship with Shepard out into the open. Everyone then proceeded to tell some or another story about her and Craig that just made her blush furiously. Try and she might, the sass master Ashley Williams just couldn't get one of her slay them dead one liners out. Her most unlikely rescuer was the owner, who had stood up now and proposed that everyone join him in a toast. Unlike everything today, his speech was simple and direct. "In memory of Commander Craig Shepard. May he rest in peace. Semper Fi" After that, things settled down with quiet chat as the Shepards got to know each team member a little better.

Ash felt her eyes closing a little bit; it had been a long tiring and draining day. Combined with her drinks, she was feeling a little light headed, but it was a pleasant buzz. She kicked off her heels and stretched out in her chair. The heels had been well worth it, they had been comfortable, but like any ladies shoe, they can only be worn for so long before it eventually becomes uncomfortable. Ash noticed that the Shepards were done making their rounds with all the crew, and now they were headed her way. Ash rose from her chair to greet them again, but they waved her down, sitting next to her. "Ashley dear, before we leave, there is something we would like you to have. It belonged to Craig, and we could think of no better person to keep this little symbol of him. Please, accept this little gift" said Hannah as she reached into her bag and gave Ash a small wooden box. Ash opened the box with a gasp. It was Craig's Star of Terra medal! The very one he had been awarded with for his heroic role in the Skyllian Blitz. "Hannah, James, I can't accept this, this is too precious!" Hannah looked like she was about to say something, but James spoke up.

"Ashley, with all the chaos and madness of the last few weeks, I've discovered something but I wasn't able to tell Craig in time. When I read his message and saw your name, it rang a bell in my head. My best friend when I was younger was your father." Ashley looked stunned at the news. "But, but" "We lost contact after we finished a mission together years ago. No matter what I tried, I could never get hold of him again. All the messages I sent ended up bouncing back. When I asked people higher up to look for him, I was told that he was to be left alone. I regret not taking it further than that. I know your family history Ash, and I have been trying for years to get people to understand what a hero your grandfather really was."

Ashley looked up at James, even more stunned than a few seconds ago. These weren't the words of someone trying to mock her or show self pity, they were the words of an honest man. "History will never look kindly at the act of surrender, nor does it ever seem to record the real reasons for it. Life is infinitely precious, to waste it all in the name of honour is the worst kind of stupid. There are people alive out there today, whole families in fact, that owe their lives to what your grandfather did. They are the people forgotten by history, the quiet ones. It is even bitterer that your dad suffered as well, something he had no control over."

"This medal is precious, but it is only a piece of metal in the end. The idea it represents though, the things Craig stood for is the real symbol. We believe that you stand for those same things as well, and that is why we wanted you to have it. Craig asked us to keep it safe, now we ask that you do the same. We hope that in some small way, it will help you to remember him."

The lump in Ashley's throat was too big for her to speak. All she could do was hug James and Hannah and whisper her thanks. Looking again at the medal, she nervously ran her finger over the face of it, reading the little inscription on it with Craig's name in it. She would always treasure this, no matter what. She looked up to his parents and saw them smile with love, a feeling Ashley now felt that would always connect them.

The Shepards made their way out the bar. They were due to head off back to their ship the next day, and wanted to get some rest. Hannah had told her that she would be in touch, she wanted to stay in contact with her new daughter. Ash had laughed at that and felt good in a way she couldn't explain. After they had left, her omni-tool had chimed, indicating she had a message. Checking it out, she saw it was from Councillor Anderson. He wanted to meet with her tomorrow afternoon to discuss something, something that would be of interest to her. Ashley sent her reply back in short order that she would be there. Naturally curious, she wanted to know what he wanted, but it would also be good to see him again. He was almost a friend to her now, and she liked to speak with him.

The other team members eventually left as well, after a last drink and goodbye. The team was now to go their own separate ways. Wrex was planning to do some travelling, but had hinted that he had plans for Tuchanka. Garrus was unsure, but was planning to go speak to C-Sec tomorrow about getting a job there. Liara wasn't sure what she was going to do either, but she had mentioned going to Ilium to follow some trails of Prothean ruins. Tali would be staying a few more days, but she had decided to go home to the fleet. Ash suspected that Tali was staying for her, and while the quarian had denied it, Ash had read between the lines. She didn't mind, Tali had become like one of her sisters. Dr. Chakwas and Joker were hoping to be redeployed to another ship. There was certainly a need for good pilots and medical officers, so both were confident they would get a good posting. Joker's pilot skills alone would surely get him a range of offers.

As for herself, Ash had no idea what she was going to do. She would speak to Anderson tomorrow, and perhaps take some of her overdue leave time. She was due to visit her family, and she missed them a lot. The trip would be expensive, but she had plenty of credits. Other options included just staying on the Citadel, or doing a little tourist sightseeing. Time would tell. Tali and Ash were the last to leave the bar. By now, Ash was too tired and tipsy to walk with her heels on, so she simply carried them along. Tali had looked confused and asked a question, but Ash had just giggled. They had managed to hail a transport and got back to their little residence quite quickly, and they tipped the driver quite a large amount.

Inside, Tali had headed straight for her bed, she had said that she had never been this exhausted. Ash walked to her room with a strange sensation in her head. It had started in the transport on the way over here. Somehow, everything seemed hyper real and clear. It was as if the tiredness, pain, stress, fleeting moments of happiness and the drinks had combined to create a strange state of mind. Ash undressed slowly and got prepared for bed. She took extra care hanging up the dress for some reason, she didn't know why. She was exhausted, yet every action just kept her extra moments away from the bed. Taking the small Star of Terra box, Ashley put it on her bed stand. That medal would never be far from hand as long as she could help it. Shaking her head, Ashley climbed in, revelling in the soft feeling under her. The hyper real awareness seemed to snap, and before she could blink thrice, Ash was dead asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Ashley woke up the next morning with a bad headache. "Serves me right for drinking so much!" she sourly thought. Anderson was going to see her later today, and she was semi hung-over. Taking a deep breath, she slowly rose from the bed. It was a new day, the dawn of a new era. Somehow, her grief had changed overnight and while still there, it was less overwhelming. Tali was awake and was busy packing her bags. "Hey Ashley. Sleep well?" "Yes thanks Tali. Although I have a headache from the drinks, I think I slept better last night than I have since...the incident. I can't explain it, but I have this feeling of peace in my heart." "I checked in on you earlier this morning Chief, and you must be right, because even though you were asleep, you had this wonderful smile on your face. Whatever it was, I am glad it happened." "Thank you Tali, again, for everything you have done for me. I can never repay you for your kindness." "Don't worry Chief, it was nothing. Any of us would have done the same. I can think of no better way anyway to honour his memory than to have helped you." "Will I see you again Tali?" "Of course Ashley! Besides, I still need to meet your sisters." "I can't wait for that Tali, it is going to be fun" "I know it will Ashley. But now, don't you need to get ready for your appointment with Councillor Anderson?" "Hmm, I suppose I do." "Goodbye Chief Williams" "Goodbye Tali'Zorah vas Neema"

Ashley hugged Tali one more time, then went to go shower. Tali would leave while she was in the shower, which was probably for the best. Ashley hated long goodbyes, and this way was the easiest. The shower was over far too quick in Ashley's mind, but time was pressing. Today, Ash did her hair in the usual bun, as this was a formal audience. She selected her best Alliance casual outfit and dressed rather quickly. Lacing up her boots somehow felt like a statement that Reapers and other horrors of the galaxy had best beware; Gunnery Chief Ashley Madeline Williams was back and ready to kick some ass. Even the headache was gone.

Making sure the Star of Terra was safe, Ash grabbed a bite to eat on her way out the little residence. For the first time in days, Ashley was back in action and she felt good about it. Somehow, someway she felt as if Craig was watching over her, and that was enough for her.


End file.
